apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
