Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
