he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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