Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Buhtt sex?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
