Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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