ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
