i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
