I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
