We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
