I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At least life still wants to fuck me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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