You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
