she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
