We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my shit smells like andre
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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