Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
