he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
