when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
