So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm really busy with my period
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