He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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