i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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