So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
