so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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