We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
