weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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