i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
