i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
