Don't you send me to vm
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
