There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
