I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
