I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
