I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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