I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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