Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
