my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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