Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
