Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
