I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
