Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
