Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
im on a boat
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