i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
