Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
