Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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