Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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