i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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