when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
