your room smells of hookers.
And success
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
