Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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