So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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