i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
