Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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