He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
